Joshua's 3rd Birthday, Remembering Matt's 3rd Birthday.

Joshua just turned 3! Hooray!!!!! (His tongue is blue from the cake frosting.)

Josh is so adorable! We had a small family party for him, with just a couple of friends. Family had sent cards and some great gifts, and Josh was THRILLED with every present. Trains, Corduroy and PJ's, exactly what he "wanted". Thank you everyone, from Josh! :)

We half debated having a bigger party for him, like we did for Matt years back. But our schedules were a little crowded, plans changed. I asked Matt if he even remembered his 3rd birthday, it was quite a large event. He couldn't even remember where we were living at that time.

Matt's party was quite large. It was also his Dad's birthday party, too. There were family and friends spilling out of the house, grilling out front, and even swimming in the pool across the street. We had a blast! There was a good mix of friends, too. Matt was going to the State School for the Deaf at that time, so a few friends and their families from there showed up, as well as some deaf folks who worked on post. We had come to know a few as really good friends.

We especially remember one conversation Hubby had that night with two deaf friends of ours who worked on post at the time. They asked Hubby why were choosing to implant our son. Hubby told them that while we fully accepted his deafness, we wanted to help him have more access to the hearing world, too. Broaden his "options" for the future. Their response was very interesting, and accepting. One of them was brought up at a school for the deaf with very little oral speech. The other man was brought up "oral", I can't remember his schooling or if he had hearing aids. The one that wasn't very oral admitted he thought his lack of communication skills with hearing peers actually kept him from progressing in his career. He wanted to move into higher management positions, but knew that would be more difficult.

This man and his wife have become very dear friends of ours, I think about them often. His wife is hard of hearing, a hearing aid user, while he uses no amplification. She had suggested to him that maybe he could get a CI to help him hear, but he seemed very content with his life as it was. His parents had forced hearing aids on him, even when they didn't benefit him. As soon as he left home, he stopped using the aids. He was very happy with the life he had created for himself, didn't see a need to change or alter that with a CI. A personal decision that was his. Interesting note is that his wife's hearing has since deteriorated, and now she is going through the CI candidacy process, her own decision.

We make decisions for our boys all the time, part of being a parent. Some of those decisions are not easy. Choosing an implant for Matt was not such a hard decision, though, as he had heard sound with his hearing aids, very much missed that sound when his hearing failed him. When his CI was activated, we still used sign language with him, that was his first and primary language at the time. But we also worked very hard to help his auditory learning and speech improve, too. Why wouldn't we? That was a primary reason why we chose a CI for him. Matt still knows sign language today, although he has forgotten some. He asked me recently if I could help him learn more. We've picked up some books and videos at the library, and use them at home.

We celebrate our special dates with parties, but we also use the time to look back on our memories. Hubby was in Iraq for Josh's first birthday, Josh was not yet walking and had very little communication at all. Josh had just started walking by his second birthday (vestibular and other issues), he had his CI, his receptive language was starting to develop, but not so much his expressive language. Now that Josh is three I am chasing him around more, he likes to climb on top of things, is using his expressive language a little more each week, signing and vocalizing (still needs a lot of help). It will be very interesting to look back at his next birthday, to see how things have changed even more. :)